| I won't regret yesterday we're not handed tomorrow so I'll live for today.... |
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| Stolen from Jenn....i haven't done one in awhile lol |
[19 Feb 2006|03:04am] |
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broken-seether Amy Lee |
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1. How many people have you had sex with in 2006?
one
2. Weed, coke, crack, heroin, oxy, acid, x, k, peyote, mushrooms, opium, hash....out of these 12 drugs how many have you done?
one
3. Ever cheated on a GF/BF?
yes
4. Ever paid for sex?
lmao...naw
5. Ever been married?
yup
6. Ever been divorced?
no
7. If you had to pick one whats your fav sexual position?
lmao 69 for sure!
8. Do you own any guns?
yes
9. Ever done more than 30 days in jail?
No
10. Ever been to rehab?
No
11. Ever do anything gay sexually?
all the time
12. Ever have sex with anyone that you met on myspace?
no
13. What size are your breasts?
a B cup...=(
14. Do you think Arnold could beat up Chuck Norris?
hell yeea...i hope he does lol
15. What celebrity would you want to have sex with if you had the chance?
SHANE LOL or ELLEN!
16. Ever been unemployed for over a year since becoming an adult?
I was a stay at home mommy for 3 years so ya!
17. How many states have you lived in?
ONe baby!
18. How many countries have you lived in?
One
19. Do you keep a weapon under or next to your bed at night?
naw
20. What celebrity would you want to beat up if you had the chance?
Tom Cruise lol i dunno!
21. Ever rolled into the harsh ghetto to buy drugs?
lol....naw
24. Ever hired a PI to follow someone?
nope
25. Ever bang your friends man/woman?
no i steer clear of shit like that lol!
26. What is your IQ?
high enough to know this question is STUPID lol who knows shit like that?
27. Do you think Mr. Rogers really was a pervert or do you think he just loved kids?
aww...I grew up watching him lol so I'll say I think he likes kids lmao
28. O.J. Simpson......did he do it?
FUCK YES! lol but he got away with it so we can NEVER know!
29. Fake tits or real tits?
REAL!
30. Ever watch someone die?
yes....very life changing for me!
31. How long has it been since you had sex?
a couple of weeks maybe 3(i'm deprived!)
32. Name your favorite beer.
BUD LIGHT BABY!
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| stolen b/c I thought it was really cute! |
[15 Feb 2006|12:28am] |
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ava laughing- |
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| Your Candy Heart Says "Hug Me" | 
A total sweetheart, you always have a lot of love to give out.
Your heart is open to where ever love takes you!
Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a surprise romantic evening that you've planned out
Your flirting style: lots of listening and talking
What turns you off: fighting and conflict
Why you're hot: you're fearless about falling in love |
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| i liked this...stolen from my girl ERIN! ALL lesbians on my list must DO IT! you too LISA MARIE! |
[30 Jan 2006|03:06am] |
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him- wings of a butterfly(I LOOVE THIS SONG) |
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New and Improved Lesbian Survey
1. Do you ever get called by your last name or some random form of your name or just a weird nickname in general?
SEYMORE(my bro called me that lol from when he couldn't say my name as a baby) oh and i was once SUMMERNESS hehe
2. Do you like T.A.T.U. even though they're "fake" lesbians?
i love them
3. Do you like Tegan and Sara?
yup
4. Do you know at least one lesbian that sings and plays guitar at a local coffee shop?
don't think so....
5. Have you ever seen But I'm a Cheerleader?
Yes lol my ex watched it EVERY damn day i swear lol
6. Lost and Delirious?
yes
7. Bound?
yes
8. Gia?
yes
9. D.E.B.S.?
no don't think I wanna
10. Boys Don't Cry?
oh yes
11. Better Than Chocolate?
yes
12. Kissing Jessica Stein?
yes
13. Any other good ones we missed?
if these walls could talk 2, the truth about jane, all over me, saving face, high art, high tension!!
14. Are you excited about the new movie coming out, Imagine Me and You?
oh yes
15. Who's your favorite famous lesbian?
ELLEN (i want her for myself she's HOT lol)leisha Hailey
16. Do you love Angelina Jolie?
she's oki
17. Do you own a pair of cargo shorts?
haha umm nooo I'm too femme!
18. Polo shirts?
yes
19. Admit it, do you pop your collar?
nooope lol
20. Do you love basketball shorts?
noope not on me...but butch girls yummy!lol
21. Ever wear boxers?
lol not under my clothes as undies but girly ones to bed
22. Do you wear make up?
yup
23. What's your favorite part on a girl?
HANDS/eyes/lips/nipples lol too many!
24. Have you ever given one flowers?
yes
25. Wrote a poem or song for one?
yes
26. Had a girl give you flowers or write a poem?
yes i loove em!
27. How many sports do you play?
16 years of dancing, not many sports lol
28. Are you just as bad as one of the guys when watching a football game?
depends who's playing!! HORNS OH YEA!
29. Whats the biggest number of girls you've kissed in one day?
3 i think lol
30. Do your parents know about you?
yes
31. How'd that go?
bad when I was a teenager...no problem 3 yrs ago lol
32. What about the rest of your family?
a few....my grandma NOOO!
33. Have any tattoos?
2
34. Piercings?
ears and tongue still
35. Do you like tattoos and piercings on a girl?
yes
36. Are you confident in bed?
I have EVERY reason to be!! lol I'm gooood!
37. Ever get a bit freaky?
maybe...just a lil bit!
38. Do you like taking the lead or letting someone else?
i take the lead as soon as THEY start it!lmao
39. Would you ever have a threesome?
yup
40. Who do you think is the hottest L word character?
SHANE omg!! SO FUCKING HOT!
41. Do you like playing the boy or girl role in a relationship?
I don't do roles! I'm femme but butch in alot of other ways.
42. Do you like to refer to yourself as lesbian, lesbo, gay, homo,
lesbian
43. Do you shop more in the girl's or guy's side of stores?
girls!
44. Have you ever noticed the difference between a gay girls and a straight girls dancing style?
i have a theory about it but not enough time to go into it lol!
45. Can you be caught wearing a hat a lot?
no not alot
46. Do you usually have your hair up in a pony tail or down?
at home up but out it's normally down
47. How much rainbow stuff do you own?
a shit load
48. Have you ever been to a pride festival or parade?
yup
49. Is chapstick a must for you when going out?
LIP GLOSS HEHE!
50. Have you ever kissed a straight girl?
now why would I wanna do that? lol
MY WEEKEND:
oki well tis Sunday night lol naw actually monday morning haha and I had a good weekend pretty much! Income tax check is already in the bank woohoo and OMG it was umm a nice sum of numbers, thank god! I was blessed and I've been hunting cars like crazy!All of income tax plus my thousand saved will gimmie a 6 thousand dollar down payment (YAY) and then the fuckers better gimmie a good interest rate or they can suck my dick lol eww not really! lol I went SHOPPING for my baby boy a BIG swing set and I didn't find one cause some of these fuckers are out until spring when new ones come! soo I'm going to Longview to shop tomorrow i think! plus i wanna see some dealerships up there also! OMG I almost forgot umm I GOT MY CAMERA MAN!! hehe i was soo SURPRISED b/c I've wanted this damn thing for a year! But it was too much money for me to spend on myself so I just NEVER could bring myself to go buy it even tho i was told to and it was suppose to be mothers day and then suppose to be birthday lol....Ryan just went and got it Saturday with my bro cause he said he knew I'd never go do it myself( he knows how i am) and my bro got me the case for it YEA it's soo AWESOME and I can buy the extra professional flash for it later on and do weddings and tons of stuff! Photo journalism has always been a big interest and passion for me. I hope maybe one day my pictures will be good enough for shows and galleries. Tyler has a BEAUTIFUL rose garden and museum...cause yea Tyler is Rose capital of the world in case ya'll didn't know that lol and when me and my bro were little my mom had a photographer take pictures of all of us in the gardens and this year now I'm gonna take my babies there and do ours. I think it will be really cool b/c then I'll get my bro and Nikki and Sam to go out there and I'll do theirs too. Maybe a tradition started hehe! Anyways I spent all night with my momma, Leigh and the kids, we went to Cheddars to eat YUMMY! I LOVE CHEDDARS lol I use to only get to eat it in Dallas but we got one a few years back and it's just 3 mins across the street...anyone who doesn't know what I'm talking about then just take my word if you see one eat there! The onion rings are awesome and stacked up a mile high lol and I don't even like onion rings normally. plus it's very reasonable....seriously our meal tonight was 40 bucks without tip for 2 appetizers me, Leigh, momma, and Dylan and we had tons of food with leftovers hehe! oki well enough about food i might get smores stuck in my head like i did last week! lmao I'm soo bad! gotta love me! Ya'll my favorite holiday is comming up and I'm excited hehe i bought Ava an adorable valentines outfit from old navy Friday night and I can't wait to put it on her....I'll show pics lol oh man I forgot we took Ava to get her ears pierced Friday night and they look soo good!! She was such a trooper man, the woman did the first ear and she was soo pitful cause she just turned her bottom lip down and looked at that woman like "YOU BITCH" lol then she cried for just a second I gave her passie to her and she stopped and then the second ear she screamed and it almost killed me. she looked at me like save me! So I grabbed her from Ryan cause I made him hold her, he was soo nervous lol and very unsure but after just a min of crying she started laughing and was fine like nothing had happened! It's going on 3 days and she doesn't even pull at them or act like they are sore so I'm happy! I mean everyone said get them done early before she can remember it or be afraid it ALOT better. I know my mom waited until I could make my own choice and I was like 5 and it was very scary for me and I was scared to touch them b/c they might hurt lol. I just rather have hers done and her never know or remember it. I can clean and take care of them easy with no screaming or fear lol ya know? Well babes I think I'm gonna go for now I'm kinda tired and it's later than I've been trying to be in bed! I love you guys I hope everyone had a great weekend.*muah*
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[27 Jan 2006|04:10pm] |
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Horoscope for: Friday, January 27, 2006
Yesterday | TODAY | Tomorrow
Summer,
The weight of the world feels like it's on your shoulders these days and you may not be able to decide whether to stand up tall or just collapse. It is important to bear the burdens of responsibility at this time or it will become even more difficult throughout the rest of the year. But use common sense to draw a line, not everyone is out to get you.
OKI THAT WAS KINDA WEIRD LOL! That was in my email...go figure! I wanted to write and let everyone know I am fine....I am NOT having a break down or anything. I know it's not usually like me to be soo pissed and critical but I just had enough of a certain person bitching at me about how shitty i am of a friend. I try my very best to be a good friend and be there for my friends thru EVERYTHING, I just can't keep up as well or often as i use to....it frustrates the hell out of me! I know a few of you know me VERY well and when Summer's had enough she just has no tact and just says shit very blunt and honest. It's something thats been building for like 6 months now and she's just really pissed b/c once apon a time she was MY WORLD and everything revolved around her...now I don't even see her or talk to her EVER. But I would if i could i just can't up and leave my kids with a babysitter every weekend....I DON'T DO THAT!! I never have! Anyways enough about her and all that bullshit this morning, it done and over with and I'm oki...thanks to those who gave a shit and understood! Leigh and I are fine, she feels embarrassed and can't believe she just went off like that lol. I guess theres always a first time for everything and thank god that was the first cause I couldn't handle much of that shit lmao. I was actually trying to not laugh at her this morning b/c at first I actually thought she was playing until she slammed the fridge door lol, I dunno she's lost her damn mind hahahah! WE ALL FUCKING HAVE!! God gimmie strenth! I have to go now and get my taxes done woohoo! *crosses fingers* I wuv yew guys everyone have a nice weekend *muah*
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| I'm about to go insane and It's only 7 in the morning.... |
[27 Jan 2006|07:03am] |
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I swear to fucking god.....I need anger management lol! I AM SOO FUCKING SICK OF LESBIANS and all the fucking DRAMA. I am sick of having to live up to other peoples expectations and whatever the fuck they think I need to be doing....If I'm not fucking with you hanging out THERE IS A FUCKING REASON, it's probably b/c I CAN'T not that I won't! If I don't call you just to say hi and talk THERE IS A FUCKING REASON, I probably can't! THERE ISN'T ONE FUCKING lesbian on this earth I don't think that quiet understand this but, I have 2 kids they both stay at home with me(until this fall), one is 5 yrs old and one is 5 months old....MY GOAL IN LIFE IS TO BE THE BEST MOTHER I CAN for my kids...every single waking moment of me goes to them. Ava is still nursing it takes 2 fucking hands to nurse I can't hold a fucking phone very well, and i hate speaker phone unless i MUST use it! My kids both take up my day and night easily!!! and guess what?? Dylan has a set bedtime every night...that's when I can talk and guess what happens when I can talk....all you mother fuckers are curled up in bed having sweet dreams while I'm up cleaning kitchen after dinner or actually trying to have some "me" time and post on here or piddle a lil on mypsace, Ava is sleeping up until I want to go to bed and then i have to put her in the bed with me in order for her to actually sleep thru the night! oki now that Dylan has a set bedtime he wakes up at a early time and guess what I hae to get up and put cartoons on and make him something to eat for breakfast. I have ALWAYS been a night owl and gone to bed at like 5 or 7 in the morning and slept until 10 or 11 in the morning and woke up fine and happy. Well I can't do that anymore b/c I have to get on a better schedule for Dylan and kindergarden comming up and missy Ava is a night owl like her momma so I have been working REALLY fucking hard at trying to go to sleep at least by 3 or hopefully earlier. I talked to a certain person last night and all conversation consisted of was them bitching b/c I don't call I don't email I don't post I don't blah blah blah. I hear it from everyone and everyone wants there own fucking slice of Summer and believe me people I SOOO WOULD GIVE IT IF I HAD IT TO GIVE y'all know this!! I miss my friends I MISS GOING OUT, I can't hardly even drink a fuckin beer b/c I still nurse and Ava doesn't need budlight like I DO! Anyways I hate to lose all my friends I LOVE PEOPLE and I love making my friends and people happy I do I always have!! But right now I have 2 kids that need me way more and I'm the one who wanted another child soo I gotta suck it up and be the very best!! If people are truely my friends they will suck it up too and be there right beside me to deal too! If they are truely my friends they can pick up the phone and call me who gives a fuck if they are the ones to call me everytime(i don't keep tabs like that and neither should anyone else who loves someone and wants to talk to them)!!!! I'll make it up to you somehow I ALWAYS do and fuck sometimes I can surprise you and call first lol...All I know is no one understand b/c none of my close friends have kids and all I hear about anymore is what I'm not doing for them!! Guess what I'm not doing it for myself either(it's not like theres just a select few)...I NEVER hardly take any time for "me" time to sit and relax in a tub of bubbles....fuck I don't even go get my feet and nails done EVER since fucking July my toes have been bare NO POLISH if anyone knows me then they will know how MAJOR that is for me!! Leigh NEVER gets quality time...just b/c she lives here doesn't mean anything it's all these things with 2 kids fighting YOU along the way: baby food, shitty diapers,pee pee diapers, spit-up, swings, play pen time, tummy time, baths, bottles, ninny(that's my boob lmao), passies(pacifier), teething, sippy cups, cartoons, play time outside, breakfast, lunch, dinner, clothes washed, clothes dried and folded(put away), cats fed, dogs fed, vacuming, dishes,learning time, music time, my shower, Dylan's bath, grocery lists, bed time stories, tucking-in, and an hour later threatning him if he gets up for the millionth time to pee he's getting his movie privilages on the weekend taken away lmao, and trash on Tues and Fri! Does anyone get the idea just a lil now? I didn't even name everything as far as cleaning goes. And just like this morning I wake up and come in here at 6:30 to play inline for a min b/c Meme took off today and Dylan got to spend the night and Leigh comes in here and fucking blows up on me...so now I'm pissed at her and she's being dramatic saying I hate her and I'm not in love with her, and I'm like are you fucking kidding me it's 6:30 in the fucking morning gimmie a damn break. I got outta bed and was out maybe 10 mins she comes in here to see what I'm doing(being nosey is normal for her lol) says she can't sleep and I said I knew it would be all of ten minutes me being outta the bed and you'd be up looking for me and then....She's yelling lmao how I hate her and I wanna break up, and I'm not in love with her anymore....so I dunno how my WONDERFUL weekends gonna go, she's already been back in here once since I've been writting this saying sorry and please forgive me i was being stupid lol. Same ole shit but one day later! I hope no one takes offense to this post or takes it to heart that I'm pointing a finger at any one person cause I'm not!!! But at this point if you don't know how I am by now and you can't handle the things I've said in this then BITE MY ASS LOL!! I love you guys I really do especially those who are hanging in there with me*muah*
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| BLAH!!! this weekend was stupid! |
[22 Jan 2006|02:59pm] |
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Well it's Sunday afternoon and my weekend has just sucked ass man! I've been sick with like a bad headache and coughing and stuffiness then this morning I'm laying there and I feel like Imma throw up on Leigh cause i didn't go to bed until 7 this morning and fuck if a huge storn didn't come thru and keep me from sleeping....Leigh was like playing with my hair and rubbing my back to help me fall asleep and I finally did for like 5 minutes until this huge lightning bold hit so hard my bedroom light came on....it fuckin tripped me out i dunno how it did it but Leigh had to reach up and actually turn it off by the string, and well Ava was in her cradle asleep by the bed and the thunder and shit kept waking her up....Thank god for her passie or I woulda never got any sleep. She doesn't sleep good on her back unless she's in the bed with me and Leigh moved her out of the bed before we got in it on her back! anyways enough bitching lol....Last night Leigh and Ryan took Dylan to Monster Trucks I didn't get to go b/c I have been sick and plus it always fucks my asthma up b/c all the dust and smoke *cries* sometimes I hate being me! I know there will be many more it's better that i didn't go but i oh soo wanted to! BUT instead I stayed home with Ava and my mommy came over. I made my mean ass sloppy joes as she calls them lol and some fried taters hehe.....SO far this week I have watched 4 brothers, Red eye, Wedding Crashers, and the 40 yr old virgin. I liked all of them except Red Eye it was pointless to me but it did have my girl Rachel McAdams in it woohoo. Wedding Crashers was pretty cute tho and it had her in it also! 4 brothers i liked alot b/c mainly Mark Walberg (sp?) but Tyrese was cool too! and lol 40 yr old virgin was oki but not as funny as i thought it would be. So yea i know everyone needed Summer's rating lol. well i just got off the phone with my bro he's sitting out in the driveway lol waiting for me to open the garage cause he doesn't wanna get soaked....I guess I'll open it for Samantha cause I don't want my sweet baby to get wet or cold hehe....maybe I'll be back later after football is over hehe! buh-bye
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| "Share a secret".....i pay attention to the small things and they always mean something to me! |
[15 Jan 2006|04:39am] |
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oki my secret is it's almost 5 in the damn morning and I'm up eatting Dove chocolate hearts and updating my journal SHHHH.....it's a secret but that's what my little foil wrapper on the chocolate said soo I shared hehe oki lemme see....next one says "hold hands firmly, hearts gently" aww I like that one lol....hmmm oki last one says "Share a sunset" haha well at this point maybe a sunrise would be sooner! Actually come to think of it I've only shared a sunrise with one person EVER lol (no names) and a sunset with one person too(Leigh)...Man I need to do that more often..kinda weird b/c I've shared the stars with everyone i think hehe....Stars are my favorite. I don't think anyone loves them more than Leigh tho...she's a starry girl lol....I never told anyone this (I don't think) but on our 2 year anniversary in Oct we both agreed we weren't going to buy each other anthing b/c I had just had a baby and Ryan had got laid off soo I wasn't actually able to do anything BIG or GREAT which depressed the hell out of me but anyways....She decided to try and play off like she bought like something for the family that way it couldn't be considered for just me and I go outside and she had went and bought this big ASS telescope, 2 of those mushroom chairs, and 2 camping mats to lay on hehe(wonder what she was thinking) so we could star gaze....even tho I was kinda upset she tried pulling something off we agreed not to do... it was VERY sweet and romantic, SHH...we must never tell her tho,b/c I am still trying to stick to being upset I couldn't buy her anything oki that can be my actual secret i was suppose to tell at the begining like the dove rapper said lol. Well I have no idea why I'm writting random things but oh well I want to start writting in this more like I use to....I am bored right now and I'm enjoying the kids being in the bed sound asleep and me just chillin i guess. I deserve the break i think...OMG we went to Walmart tonight well actually last night to grocery shop and I spent ummm $407 dollars whew I almost fell out but I got alot of food and 2 fridges to fill up so what the hell why not? I won't have to go buy grocery's for at least a month to 3 weeks HELL YEA!! I hate having to grocery shop and this time I let it get down to the nitty-gritty in the fridge lol...I was just dreading it but you know what I love....the 20 bucks I got in Bud Light at the liquor store trying to fill up the new fridge i got the other day. It's soo cool cause now I got my beer fridge and my pool table in the garage. I'm fixin to get my 52in big screen next week and put the 29in from the livingroom in the garage too! then I'll be GREAT hehe, a few neon signs and a dart board we'll be set no lie! SLOWLY BUT SURELY I'll have my perfect home. And come March I'll have my new ride *tears* it won't be my 2006 Dodge Charger or Dodge mega cab but it will be something SWEET and NEW and by god thats what counts lol. I haven't yet dealt with the fact I NEED a family car or SUV just yet b/c well I want something that doesn't scream MOMMY all over it but I'm trying to look at it like Leigh does and that is MILF lmao..that's what she's always called me or refered to me as. I know *blushes* it soo isn't me and she embarrases the shit outta me when she says it to everyone but at least it's a good comment...anyways I dunno if I have to get a family car then first things first it will have a sun roof, i'll put 2 dvd screens in the back seats for the kids, and a nice cd player with good speakers and amp, oh and of course tinted windows :P hehe...I'll be in a family car but it won't look soo much like it i hope! So yea I have some stuff to look foward to the next few months. And i might be able to come see a few special peeps as soon as i get all this outta the way....I do miss you too(you know who you are) and i can't wait for you to meet Ava, a couple i haven't met yet and well i've met Brittney but we've never got to hang out or anything so that will be cool. Well babes I'm gonna go now but i'll probably drop a few more random lines later on tonight or tomorrow! hope everyone had a fun and safe Saturday night and to those with a Sunday hang over *winks* it was worth it.....YOU KNOW IT WAS!!!**MUAH** OH BY THE WAY...HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TRISHA!!! and for anyone who gives a shit the last dove chocolate outta the bag lmao(j/k i didn't eat the whole damn bag, someone took them away from me i swear lol) said...."Discover how much your heart can hold."
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| TRYING to clean off my back porch for a NEW YEAR.......forget the past |
[29 Dec 2005|05:23am] |
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Oki well to those who know me then they know I hate being pissed off or not talking to anyone especially to those I care about soo as of tonight I think I've got things all cleared up....The last thing I needed to do for the up comming year was resolved tonight when I talked to Lisa. Well we talked about everything and she didn't even remember telling me I fucked her life up but that was probably b/c she was soo pissed and fighting with me she was just saying stuff....but I told her she DID say it lol I know cause it stuck in my head. Anyways I forgive her for the lies and what not and she forgives me for all the mean shit I said to her....we are in no means how we were and I dunno if we ever will be...that depends on alot of things and trust issues I must work out in my head ya know? so yea everything is on the up and up we talked for an hour or so and we are two grown adults letting the past go we agreed. I as of now am oki with everyone in my life...meaning if i died or anyone else did (god forbid) then I wouldn't have any regret or guilt. I am trying to make some changes in a few areas of my life and holding grudges for people is one of them, I have to learn to open up and TRUST people. Everyone is only human and I love God and myself enough to learn forgivness. sounds crazy i know but I want to be a better me and being a bitch or talking shit about someone who i use to love or be friends with isn't good. I concider myself a way better person than that so I need to improve it....the New year is a clean slate for me. I am gonna try to TRUST people and love like there's not another day to do it. I want my friends and family to know how much I love them and how much it means that they give a shit to listen to me or try and make me feel better. I am excited about having some new friends as of right now, I think they will be good for me, i know it's odd how we met up but hey whatever works right? Leigh and I as of right now are doing better in a way granted i am still smothered ALOT and dunno how to fix things! She's not going to start school on the 8th now b/c of the 14 thousand dollars for 5 months thing, that is just rediculous to pay and with 16% interest on it if you finance it...my advice was to find another computer school so she is! I'm really glad she did some checking around b/c she was just diving right into it and her mom was like oki lets pay lol i swear must be nice!! Anyways I want to do something different with my life i think...no more pre law and 8 years of school....I have 2 kids now and I can't focus on them and school so I must choose....and of course I pick my kids so I gotta let the dreams go maybe one day after they are older I can go for that but until then I am gonna do what I wanted to when I was 17 and that is cosmotology..my mother thinks it's great now and she supports me completely, she even admitted to being wrong when she didn't approve of me going into that profession 8 years ago and appologized for making me choose teaching. It's lke finally after all these years of only wanting acceptance and support from her i get it....she is a very difficult woman and I choose to be me and nothing like her lol! Just like I told everyone around christmas I refuse to be anything like her when it comes to the holidays....she is always depressed and always has to have a grudge or fighting with someone. My whole family can't all get together and have an nice holiday without her talking shit and I sometimes get soo ashamed and disappointed to call her my mother.In my eyes blood is blood and you don't turn your back no matter how much they piss you off! So yea needless to say my holiday wasn't as great as it coulda been and but the kids had a awesome christmas. I miss having presents to open on christmas so i think this next year we might do gifts for each other....lol kinda funny we have had 3 christmas's together now and never had gifts to open on Christmas morning and the christmas before that I was with Ashley and giving her mother money to buy her and the kids christmas so i didn't have any then either....Dylan doesn't understand why santa doesn't come see me after all this time! lol it suxs tryin to make him understand even tho you want or wish for something you don't always get it, for him he wishes or wants something he always eventually gets it i never forget the things he ask for and i try my best to get EVERYTHING! I know they are both rotten but hey that's what their here for! I love buying christmas for the kids and watching their little eyes light up when they unwrap stuff it's a very rewarding time for a parent, makes all the hard work, screaming crying, dirty diapers,boo boo's, shitty carpets(long story lol) ALL worth it! I mean damn the later part of 2005 for me has been unbelievably crazy at moments between the kids and me bing the only one that can get the job done, i swear it like 24-7 a kid needs something or you can't even talk on the phone b/c one or the other is throwing a fit lol I LOVE MY JOB I REALLY DO, I JUST NEED A PROZAC OR MINI VACATION LMAO! and honest to god it will probably never happen :-( hell Ava will barely go to anyone other than me Leigh or her daddy without that bottom lip going under and her screaming....she is very finicky about who holds her to say the least lol but who knows? I'm gonna wrap this up now i have my sons mt. everest room to clean with huge peaks of toys to pick up and organize! LOVE YA'll and I hope everyone has a safe and wonderful New Year! I'll be seeing some of you !
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| music man- stolen from Jen |
[23 Dec 2005|02:12am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 hyper |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Gwen |
] |
S-Staind
U-Usher
M-Maroon 5
M-Mariah Carey(some of it lol)
E-evanescence
R-Red hot chilli peppers
D-disturbed
E-eminem
L-lifehouse
A-ani difranco
N-nirvana
E-eve 6(you member?)
L-Lennon Murphy
E-Edwin Mccain
E-Eve
/
P-portishead
A-Avril lavigne
G-Goo Goo Dolls/Gwen Stefani (toss up)
E-Eagle-eye Cherry(lol like one song)
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| 5 things |
[14 Dec 2005|03:10am] |
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mood |
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contemplative |
] |
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music |
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Kelly-b/c of you |
] |
The first player of this "game" starts with the topic "5 weird habits/facts about yourself" and people who get tagged need to write a lj entry about their 5 quirky habits as well as state this rule clearly.
1. i bite my nails eww i know.....lol(joke) Do you know what a lesbian with nails is?.......(answer at bottom of post)
2. i always have to have a glass of ice water on my night stand when i go to bed even tho I NEVER drink it lol don't ask i dunno why?
3. I ALWAYS lose my inhaler..even if i had it two seconds before i lost it lol! oh and I sleep with it in my hand and lose it in the bed lmao.
4. I buy tons of stuff(clothes, decor, projects, beauty products, shoes, food, movies, kids stuff) I never end up using, wearing, or making anything of.
5. all the can goods have to be neatly stacked label facing out so you can see what it is and the box stuff in order from largest to smallest lol i'm stupid!
i tag....Erin, Leigh, Jenn
answer: SINGLE hehe
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| YOU......................................................................... |
[14 Nov 2005|05:23am] |
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mood |
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 disappointed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Joe Nichols-she only smokes when she drinks |
] |
I WISHED I COULD JUST BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU! I HATE YOU EVEN IF I DO STILL LOVE YOU! YOU MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING WITH EVERYONE JUST LIKE I USE TO!! WHY I EVER STOPPED IN THE FIRST PLACE I'LL NEVER KNOW???
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| (stolen from Jenn) HAVE YOU EVER...... |
[01 Nov 2005|03:37am] |
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mood |
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 bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
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crossfade-cold |
] |
HAVE YOU EVER ....YES/NO (feel free to elaborate on your answers to make it interesting)
1. Given a homeless person anything?
money and a blanket I had in my car....
2. Spent more than $500 on a bf/gf's gift or a night out?
yes on a gift but not a night out
3. Had sex with more than one person in a day?
umm sad to say but yes
4. Cheated?
not proud of it, but yes
5. Dated two people at once?
techn no...but someone swears I did lol
6. Actually met someone from myspace that you didn't know before? so far no....
8. Failed more than one class?
i don't think so....
9. Took someone's virginity when you weren't a virgin?
yes lol and they say no one compares since hehe.....I'm GOOD!
10. Hooked up with someone from a different race?
no never have found anyone I was attracted to outside of my race..
11. Ran around naked outside?
lol drunk a few times
12. Scubadived?
no I'm not suppose to b/c of my asthma
13. Snorkled?
yes in Cancun it was awesome!
14. Dated someone you didn't want your friends to meet? yes once
15. Got your stomach pumped, from alcohol poisoning?
nope
16. Threw up from alcohol?
haha who hasn't ?
17. Been suspended from school? yes for fighting
18. Kissed someone of the same sex?
yea like once or twice i think lol
19. Gone Commando?
who hasn't?
20. Let a girl paint your toenails?
yes lol all my life.... I'm girly oki and girls doo that when they get together
21. Met someone famous?
yes Reba, Terri Clark, George Straight
22. Saved someone's life?
my brothers when we were little and Nats for many years she said...well until that day I wasn't there.....
23. Seen someone die? grandpa page until he saw bright light and took his last breath from fighting cancer it was very life changing.......
24. Killed someone? 10 years and finally after all this time I can honestly say no out loud and believe it......she pulled the trigger it was about me but not b/c of me...long story but I hope that makes sense.
25. Been in a physical fight?
whew...... 3x once when I was younger i broke my thumb fighting a boy, and another time this black boy that always picked on my little brother and this big ass bitch in the girls locker room...I hold a so far undefeatable title lmao!
26. Hooked up with someone 10 yrs older or younger?
no..thank god it was only 6
27. Been arrested?
yes b/c I ran 3 stop signs leaving school LMAO! College campus cops SUCK ASS!
28. Spent the night in jail? no only like 3 hours it was tramatizing tho lol I was soo damn scared.....and I still get teased about it
29. More than three car accidents in a year?
no thank the lord above!
30. Had sex outside?
Yes...in a car, back of a truck, on a trampoline many times*winks awesome stuff*in a shed against the wall lol, on the back of the four wheeler*ouch*, in several tents, in several pools,
31. Given or gotten road head?
umm...I've only done it once briefly b/c it's actually harder than it looks lol
32. Had sex in your house when your parents were home?yes....My mother walked in once and my step sister ;p!
33. Had phone sex?
yea i use to like someone that was into that..it's not my thing tho
34. Been turned off by someone's personal hygiene "down there?" OMG LMAO ONLY once and I am still scared !
35. Told someone you loved them when you didn't?
NO.....anyone I tell " I love you" means more than anyone even understands with me.....but when I say love ya/wuv yew it's more in a playful non serious way...most people don't know that about me...
36. Had sex somewhere in your high school?
no
37. Been in a porn shop?
umm...yea long term relationships you get creative and kinky lol
38. Had a threesome?
yes it's oki but not for me.....but I think everyone should try it at least once in their life :-o
39. Spent more than one night in a hospital?
yes....I've had kids and I have asthma
40. ODed on a drug? HELL NO I've never done anything hard enough to OD on
41. What's your weakness?
children, my friends
42.Would you date a Ex gf/bf again (round 2)?
It depends on how we ended and how long it's been not to mention what our chemistry was like together...but most of all did they EVER lie to me and could I trust them now..........
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| ..it's been a long week....I made it thru with only a few tears shed amazing enough! |
[31 Oct 2005|11:51am] |
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mood |
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content |
] |
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music |
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jet-dirty little secret |
] |
My baby boy turned 5 last week for those who give a shit! and well there are those that proved themselves and how much they truely love him afer last week, how can you love a child as much as some say they do and not call or give a shit about one of their most important days...hello the day they were brought into this world!! I'm leaving it alone for now....cause I'm pissed when he gets disappointed or his feelings hurt but he had a GREAT one without those people.....the way I see it he doesn't need people like that in his life anymore, now just getting him to forget...ya know? My baby Girl just turned 3 months old yesterday and I swear she is one smart girl already lol she's gonna be the one that gives me the gray hair... Leigh even notices how sweet and rotten Ava is and admits she is(so you know it's bad if Leigh says it, b/c she never thinks kids can be too spoiled lol)Ava already knows how to eat off a spoon as of last week,tries sitting up if she wants to see or if she's on her back and has been rolling over and laughing already for a month now.....i'm still in shock b/c she's doing stuff way early!!SOO YEA Dylan was Darth Vader for halloween it wasn't my choice but w/e makes him happy lol and Ava was a ballerina OMG everyone went crazy over her she was soo damn cute with her diaper booty in little tights, a tootoo and little ballerina shoes, it made me soo happy to see her in it just b/c I hope for her to be a dancer like I was for 10 years although ballet was only 3 years....Anyways back to my week, my aunt from Pa came in and I've been with family alot this week b/c My grandmas surgery went good but now it's not working and she's still very sore and stuff so yea that sucks! My bro came in and stayed here all day Sunday to visit. I miss having him around but he's been so different lately i think he's depressed or stressed out but,I'm almost an aunt hehe baby Sam is due Wednesday, so any day now I get a niece and can't wait! I hope the kids get to be close like me and Stuart! Oh I forgot i got my hair done friday and I love it!! It got all chopped off or like 6 inches did and it's still not really short or anything...I couldn't believe how damn long my hair had gotten b/c I kept it up soo much. Leigh tripped out when she saw how much I got cut off but then she embarrased the shit out of me b/c I turned around to show her and she busted out with her sweet stuff in front of her mother lol i was blushing soo bad and trying to hide it. All the way home Dylan kept saying "mommy you don't look like my mommy you look different b/c you don't have your brown hair anymore" haha kids will always say truth....anyways I need to go for now my baby girl needs to eat*muah* HAPPY DAY TO YA!
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| abc's.....stolen from Brittney! |
[21 Oct 2005|11:40pm] |
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mood |
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relaxed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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stainds new cd |
] |
A- Age- 25
B - Band listening to right now - staind
C - Crush - Shane on L word lol
D - Dad's name - Jerry
E - Easiest person to talk to - Leigh
F - Favorite ice cream - Cookies n' cream and coffee
G - Gummy worms or gummy bears -eww...not worms so i guess bears
H - Hometown - Tyler,Tx
I - Instruments - French horn blah
J - Junior high - whitehouse
K - Kids - 2 amazing babies
L - Longest car ride ever - from Ms to Virginia and then back again
N - Nickname[s] - Princess, Birdie, mexican
O - One wish- my Nat
P - Phobia[s] - Feet, worms!!!!
Q - Quote -too many(one fav) look beyond the obvious, see what others miss, simple as a raindrop, passionate as a kiss......
R - Reason to smile - my children ALWAYS
S - Song you sang last - Milkshake lol
T - Time you woke up today - 8:07 blah!
U - Unknown fact about me - I loved ONE girl all my life.....until I actually came out 3 yrs ago
V - Vegetable[s] you hate - NONE but I don't prefer beets very much
W - Worst habit - bitting my nails oh man and leaving cabinets open lmao
X - X-rays you've had - too many to even keep track
Y - Years since you've been to church - 1
Z - Zodiac sign - Leo
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| TO MY AMAZING GIRLFRIEND.......HAPPY ANNIVERSARY BABY!! |
[16 Oct 2005|10:23pm] |
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mood |
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grateful |
] |
| [ |
music |
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fabolous ft Ashanti-into you |
] |
***OUR SONG- the story behind our song is we didn't pick it....it picked us the first night we ever met seriously the first time we met she came to Tyler to pick me up so we could go to Dallas and meet up with friends to party with and we're all driving and this song came on and both of us at the same time reached for the radio to turn it up while both saying at the same time how much we love this song lol at the point our hands touched we looked at each other and I seriously thought I was going to run off the road....time sttod still for forever it seemed and it was just us looking into one anothers eyes!! I remember it like it was yesterday...i love you punkin more than you'll ever know
Iris
And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
And you bleed just to know you're alive And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am (break and solo) And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
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| I found this and I really DO believe it all........ |
[16 Oct 2005|05:07am] |
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mood |
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content |
] |
| [ |
music |
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3 doors down cd |
] |
I believe- that we don't have to change friends
if we understand that friends change.
I believe- that no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you every once in a while
and you must forgive them for that.
I believe- that true friendship continues to grow,
even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
I believe- that you can do something in an instant
that will give you heartache for life.
I believe- that it's taking me a long time
to become the person I want to be.
I believe- that you should always leave loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.
I believe- that you can keep going long after you can't.
I believe- that we are responsible for what we do,
no matter how we feel.
I believe- that either you control your attitude
or it controls you.
I believe- that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first,
the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.
I believe- that heroes are the people who do what has to be done
when it needs to be done,
regardless of the consequences.
I believe- that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I believe- that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing
and have the best time.
I believe- that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down,
will be the ones to help you get back up.
I believe- that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I believe- that just because someone doesn't love you
the way you want them to
doesn't mean they don't love
you with all they have.
I believe- that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
I believe- that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I believe- that no matter how bad your heart is broken
the world doesn't stop for your grief.
I believe- that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
I believe- that just because two people argue,
it doesn't mean they don't love each other.
And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
I believe- that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret.
It could change your life forever.
I believe- that two people can look at the exact same thing
and see something totally different.
I believe- that your life can be changed in a matter of hours
by people who don't even know you.
I believe- that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
I believe- that credentials on the wall
do not make you a decent human being.
I believe- that the people you care about most in life
are taken from you too soon.
****one more i wanted to add....i believe- that the hardest thing(s) in life to do tend to ALWAYS be the right thing(s). oh and the ones fast& easy to answer your answering from your heart!
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| random weird thoughts |
[14 Oct 2005|06:10am] |
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mood |
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sad and stressed out |
] |
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music |
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k clarkston-b/c of you |
] |
oki well as crazy as this sound my ex is staying the night....it's soo weird tho b/c it's been like 2 years since I've watched her sleep, that was something I always did with her and it hit me tonight that as bad as things were between us and the drama of her mother hating me and of our break up...the way my heart was ripped in a million pieces DOESN'T matter anymore I am over it b/c she's made up for that I mean just being here for me this past year and staying by my side thru my pregnancy means more than words can even describe.....we will NEVER be together again as anything more than bestfriends, but it's kinda weird how we always find a way back to each other, I have known her for almost 11 years damn that is almost half of my life and over half of hers lol. I felt soo much like shit tonight i dunno why well I do but I almost don't want to get into it but who cares this is my journal I can say anyhting I want right? oki as of the past few weeks I have been sad not like really miserable or anything but enough to want to cry and well it SUCKS!! I feel so fat and ugly and i feel like I am never going to get ME back again....example my old figure and my old hair and my old happiness and feelings!! My tummy is worse than with Dylan it's still in the jello phase i guess you could say and Leigh poor Leigh she tries to make me feel better about it and tells my i am still as beautiful as before but it's hard to feel good about that b/c I know how much she loves me and how she would say anything or do anything in this world to make me smile and feel better.....anywayz back to the story,I talked to Ash....she just messaged me and said she was comming over and I won't lie at first I didn't feel like it but i told her to gimmie a min to get clothes on and we could go somewhere even if it was walmart or something...so she got here and gave me a hug and we talked and went to walmart, dropped by some bills in night deposit and rode around(nothing major) laughing and talking....I sat on the back porch with her talking about her new love and how I wanted to start going to the gym again and thought about starting kick boxing and her reply was "Summer you don't need to go down there and do that shit, your perfect the way you are! It was like a ton of bricks were lifted off of me I actually believed her and what she was ssaying to me about me(weird as hell i know) i mean she has always given me nice compliments and told me how beautiful i was but this time it made a difference for some reason, i mean I have soo much trouble now with letting people and FRIENDS in and trusting them....mainly b/c of the promises that were broken between me and supposedly my friend till the end and even after the end....no names mentioned she knows who she is and then well the last and final friend I choose to let go after soo many damn lies and betrayal a month ago.....no names on that one either she knows too who she is! but aside from that I have ONE friend left and that ONE alone happens to be there when I need her SOMEHOW! I won't talk to her for a week or a month and then she calls or shows up right at the perfect time. I mean I love Leigh and she is the very BEST but somethings i just don't want to talk to her about and it's mainly b/c I know it makes her sad if I'm sad....I don't want to make her sad just b/c I am....I love her and she gives me soo much happiness everyday but I also take alot out on her that I shouldn't which sucks!! Like we were talking tonight and she's like oki baby i have this idea...Sunday is our anniversary and i know right now you don't have the extra money to blow on presents and I know you won't let me do anything for you since you can't do for me(she knows me soo well lol) so i was thinking we could make each other something and just set a cost limit, i suddenly thought i was gonna start crying and just sealed up inside, i asked her how and where was i gonna find time to make her something now?? We have both made each other soo many thing in the past but i barely have time to shower and shave unless I stay up until 6 in the morning like I am now, I felt like shit from that moment on wondering how I was gonna make this our special day for the second year. I have no business being with such an amazing person, i can't do for her like i use to....she hardly ever gets attention and when she does it's for 2 minutes until someone is crying or pissed off about a cartoon ending, i mean sex isn't even GREAT as before(i mean it's good physically no doubt) BUT NOW there is an infant in a craddle next to the bed, don't get me wrong Ava is my prayers answered and she makes my life feel so complete, but we have to whisper or put pillows over our head and that just to me takes soo much away if I can't talk or make noise ya know? I mean making love to me isn't just the act or the actual orgasm it to me is the little I love you's in between you want to say out loud and the way you say the other persons name ya know? maybe it's just me but that's how I feel and anyways back to the point we can't do that b/c we're gonna wake someone up. I feel like she gets negleted and so does our relationship and now I'm not working on top of that I can't buy her gifts and stuff like I use to.....she says none of that matters but it DOES TO ME i have always been that way and she's loved me and stood by me for 2 years now unlike ANYONE has EVER! I'm helpless or at least i feel like that and it sucks!! Like I said I hold back soo much right now but i have to be strong i always have and crying never got me anywhere that I know of...i'd rather just NOT! so i dunno I'm being a baby i guess but hell I'm aloud to be sometimes right? HELL NO LOL I just need to suck all this shit up and let Leigh kiss me and tell me how things will get better just give it time :( i dunno I'm gonna go now so sorry if I was rambling *muah*
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| TO WHOM IT CONCERNS...you know who you are...... |
[04 Oct 2005|01:21am] |
| [ |
mood |
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amused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
this song-lol |
] |
JO DEE MESSINA
My Give A Damn's Busted
Well you filled up my head with so many lies
You've twisted my heart 'til something snapped inside
I'd like to give it one more try
But, my give a damn's busted
You can crawl back home, say you were wrong
Stand out in the yard and cry all night long
Go ahead and water the lawn
My give a damn's busted
chorus:
I really wanna care
I wanna feel something
Let me dig a little deeper
No, sorry, nothing
You can say you've got issues
You can say you're a victim
It's all your parents' fault, I mean after all you didn't pick em
Maybe somebody else has got time to listen
My give a damn's busted
Well your therapist says it was all a mistake
A product of the Prozac and your codependent ways
So who's your enabler these days
My give a damn's busted
Chorus:
I really wanna care
I wanna feel something
Let me dig a little deeper
No, still nothing
It's a desperate situation
No tellin what you'll do
If I don't forgive you, you say your life is through
Come on give me something I can use
My give a damn's busted
Hey gurlie I thought you might get a kick outta this lol.....you should post it too hehe! anywayz I was gonna email you earlier but I lost track of time and figured i might call....then it was too late so blah i suck....ttyl hope all is well!
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| Leo's Inner Self and True Nature...... |
[29 Sep 2005|01:27am] |
| [ |
mood |
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bouncy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
nothing-Ash's voice |
] |
Although you appear quite pleasant, agreeable and ready to compromise for the sake of harmony, you also have a strong need to shine and express your own opinions. You have the potential to be a great leader, manager, coach or teacher.
Proud and intensely individual, you really want to stand out, to be the very best you can be, and to be recognized and appreciated for your unique contributions. Doing something well and being respected for it is extremely important to you, and you cannot tolerate being in the background, taking orders from others, or being "just one of the team". You must put your personal stamp on whatever you do, and direct your own course in life. You need to have a place where you can shine, express yourself creatively, and be the one in charge.
You have big dreams and the determination, spirit, vitality, and enthusiasm to bring them into being. You also have a noble, romantic heart, and a love of the dramatic, colorful, and extravagant.
For you it is true that "all the world's a stage" and you secretly (or perhaps not so secretly) desire to be the Star or Hero in the play. You want to be great, and to receive the love and applause of an adoring audience, even if the "audience" is just one other special person. You need someone to believe in you and your dreams. Though you appear radiantly self-confident and independent, you are actually very much dependent on the affirmation, love, and recognition of others. You cannot bear being unnoticed or unappreciated.
You also love wholeheartedly and generously and really know how to make the person you love feel special. You love the magic of "being in love" and know how to keep the romance alive in your relationships. You are also immensely loyal and will defend your loved ones and stand by them to the end--as long as they never offend your pride or betray your trust. However, you like to be the strong one in a relationship and you really do not share the leading role very easily. Ideally you need to find a person who is as strong-willed as yourself, but who will not try to dominate or compete with you.
Your strengths are your zest and love for life, your creative power and your warm and generous heart. Your primary fault is your tendency to be very egocentric, so concerned with the impression you are making and with your own creative self-expression that you forget there is another, larger world that does not revolve around you.
Your career, reputation and public image are very important to you. You have a strong desire to be influential or make your mark on the world. The merely personal sphere does not satisfy you; your ambitions include making a major contribution and receiving broad recognition for your unique effort and gifts. You may undervalue the personal or inner side of life.
Impulsive, restless, and spontaneous, your life is apt to be somewhat unstable and full of sudden changes. You are extremely independent and crave excitement, adventure, freedom and discovery. You have a rebellious streak and often feel you are unusual and different from the mainstream of society. The unorthodox and novel appeal to you.
You are imaginative and sensitive to anything colorful, beautiful or magical. You are attracted to artistic and creative pursuits, music and mysticism. Your spiritual values color your whole perspective and approach to life. You are idealistic and perhaps impractical.
You can be an inspiring leader of a team or group effort. Your dynamism and energy evokes the same in others, and you see healthy competition between people as a plus. Generally, you enjoy fine health as well.
Along with your energy and drive you have high ideals and an active fantasy life. There is a dreamer and an idealist in you, as well as a doer and a fighter. You want to win but not at others' expense, and this maybe something of a dilemma for you.
You undergo deep, transformative changes in your life with relative ease and a minimum of conscious resistance. Because you don't avoid the depths, you have access to a lot of personal power and strength. Without realizing it or seeking it, you're apt to have quite a potent effect on the people you come into contact with, even superficially. Others sense that you're a force to be reckoned with.
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always_forsaken's journal
curious